ps....

two posts in one night - my, my!

Since I have been so down and dreary lately...I figured I need to talk about a few things that I am excited about!

1.  its superbowl week! I heart football - and since my man Manning isn't in the game this year - I have to pull for Eli.  GO GIANTS!!
2.  Miss Hannah is coming over for her newborn pictures on Sunday and I cannot wait to snuggle with her.  I love newborn sessions!
3. Avery's appointment is in 3 weeks - and although I am seriously nervous - that means a whole day with just me, Craig, and Avery which doesn't happen.  Ever.  I am soo excited to spend the whole day with my crazy middle child.  She is seriously nuts and makes me laugh 24/7
4.  Houston trip = shopping for new props!
5. Also in 3 weeks I have another mini vacation and we are going to start on the new studio! 1st step - painting, which I love.
6. Income tax time is almost here and I get to order my new photo baby and pay off the last credit card.  The Trahan Family will officially have no debt for the first time in our married life. WHAT!
7. I weighed this morning and I only have 8 more pounds to loose for my goal.  WOHOO
8.  my mortgage went down almost $100.  Can we save savings?? Trahan Family is on a roll...no debt and savings. WHAT!
9.  my husband is awesome.  true story.
10. we are nearing Ella's favorite 3 weeks in the year....Valentines Day (I have no idea why, but she loves the idea of pink hearts everywhere!), my birthday and her birthday.  She is counting down and soo sweet and excited.  Her 5th birthday both terrifies and excites me!  She is becoming a little lady  :)

January 27th

This week I feel drained.  Half the week I was still on vaca but the other half took me down.  I had my hopes on things changing for my family and it didn't happen.  I'm pretty sure that is all it took to drain me.  I walked around work all Wednesday trying not to cry my eyes out. When the kids see me put on my khakis they start to cry.  Avery tried to block the door.  How I leave every morning without mascara running down my cheek I have no idea. Will my life ever be different?

Avery has her TC appointment in less than a month and I am really starting to feel it.  I have no nails left from the anxiety.  I think I am so nervous because I don't know what to expect.  When talking the the operator on the phone she asked what was going to take place at this appointment.  I have no idea.  I feel so out of the loop.  When we thought her sickness was due to absorption problems I knew my stuff.  I could tell you all about iron, absorption, blood deficiencies....but now I am lost.  I could google - but then I would just freak myself out.  We won't know anything until after this appointment which is to find out why.  Why does she loose so much blood and blood cells?  She has been pale lately and lots of nastiness....which normally means her levels are low.  I think a call to the doctor is coming this week. 

 .............................................................................................

I do have a few things to look forward to.  Sessions have been booking like crazy - which keeps me busy but is awesome.  I was worried this year was going to be like last and I would die from January - May.  As of right now, I have 1 spot open for February and 2 for March.  Such a blessing! I look forward to the day when this is my only job and I can confidently call myself a full time photographer.  

The kids are well and happy.  Owen turned 6 months old two days ago and he still lights up my day.  When I come home from work he smiles so big I feel like I could die from his cuteness.  He is starting to talk and it is soo adorable.  He learned a new trick - talking while he is eating so food goes up his nose.  The girls are their normal self.  Ella is really enjoying taking her pictures every week and I think I have a future assistant.  Avery has become a little talker! She and I went to the store alone the other day and talked the whole time.  She is nuts! 

The long awaited ultrasound....

First, a little back story....

When Owen was born he went into the NICU immediately after birth for 9 days.  He started to go into distress from being transverse and his blood sugar had dropped.  Not to mention, my late-premee, as the nurses called him, was a whopping 8 lbs and 5 ounces and 21 inches long.  Take all that turned sideways.  Because he was transverse his lungs didn't develop fully. He came out and couldn't breathe. Throughout his stay in the NICU he had several xrays, ultrasounds, CAT scans and many, many other things that my poor baby boy was not ready for.

The day we were to leave the hospital, his doctor pulled me aside to tell me that on one of his ultrasounds of his head they found a cyst on his brain.  She said this so very nonchalantly, as if I had not been dreaming already of how it was physically possible for me to sleep with my head in his crib all night to make sure he was still breathing.  She says, just watch his development...have a good day. (Im sure she said it a lot nicer than this, but that is how I remember it went)

We brought him home and I was a wreck.  Not sleeping plus constantly trying to measure how fast he is breathing (an impossible task) and now dissecting his every move and function wondering about his little head. I would stay awake at night and hold him and cry in prayer over his little body and his brain. We asked God to ease our (my) fears (craziness) and lead us to a place of peace.  We knew that no matter what the outcome, our son was given to us for a reason and he was in God's hands.  I am thankful to say that God did that for me.  As many of you know, I am the worrier of the family.  I worry, analyse, worry some more, obsess, and lose sleep over meaningless things let alone my son having a potential brain tumor.  God eased my mind and I have been quite sane for the last few months.  The doctor said at 6 months we would do another head ultra sound to reevaluate.

Last month at his 4 month check up, the doctor brought all those fears back.  Its time to schedule his ultrasound to see what is inside there.  We went ahead and did it a month early - which I later found out why. Here comes the tears and worrying again - I knew it was time to hit my knees to the ground again in prayer.

All week I had been wondering how on earth did they do a head ultrasound?? I have had quite a few - but on my babies.  Do they take that nasty gel and rub it all over his head?  Yep.  Sure do.  So Monday morning we headed back to the hospital, and since we had just been discharged about a week prior, it was a quick check in.  The nurse was fantastic and she rubbed that goo all over his head and started scanning.  They get all the scans from the soft spots.  It was one of the most interesting things I have ever seen.  This was the reason for the push up from 6 months to 5 months - my son's soft spots are almost closed and without them there is no ultrasound.  I told my husband later, I don't know what I was looking at on that screen - but it was cool! He did awesome.  Owen sat there for 20 minutes, never fussed, and let the technition do her thing. Happy momma.

Today, Owen had his follow up from the RSV and hospital trip.  The doctor informs us that he got the results of his ultrasound.  I was not prepared for this...but I have been working on keeping my tears in check....He said the valley that had the cyst was completely empty.  It was gone.  GONE.  He said, we are not sure how it happens, but sometimes it just does. He told me I didn't have to worry anymore.

I was beaming.  I know how it happens.  We serve a wonderful God.

Tonight I will sleep easier.  Tonight, once again, I will explain to my girls that our God is an awesome God and we have much to be thankful for.

Ella's Haircut and Avery's doctor

My big girl got a haircut! AH! I was so nervous.  Her hair was a mess!!! I thought we were going to have to cut it all off and go boy short to fix the craziness...but thankfully I have a wonderful hairdresser that works miracles!

I promised her new headbands for being a good girl and cutting her hair.  Princess headbands! 

So before the haircut, Avery had to go to the doctor for yet another cup sample.  Within the next few weeks, we will be heading to TCH to see a nephrologist.  After all that studying I did about blood deficiencies....now I have to learn something new! But at least we are making progress....